Thursday, August 13, 2009

This Is Why We Still Can't Have Nice Things

Hello there!

I couldn't really decide, so instead, I'm going to do my best to illustrate everything I was submitted.

Yes, it is animated.

Demogorgon is awesome. Demons are awesome. Ask any of my players what comes up in every frigging game I run, and they will tell you demons. Or, if they are feeling snarky, elves or catgirls. Punch them in the face for me.

I don't know why but I really enjoy the idea of planar... stuff. Demons, devils, celestials, rilmani, it's all good. Especially demons, though. And modrons. Unfortunately I got into the tabletop scene just after Planescape was going out of style, and I never got the chance to enjoy it.

I did once get invited to a friend's game, though I was in a silly mood at character creation and rolled a rogue modron rogue who (rogue) worshipped Aoskar and was also a member of the Expansionists. His backstory was that he got mazed a long time ago (I wonder why) and now that he'd finally figured out how to escape he was extremely paranoid and tried to hide. He named himself Incognito and wore a huge fake moustache because he heard these things helped.

My eventual real character was a tiefling monk and a Sensate - only a namer, mind - who liked bar fights, and wanted to start one with every creature in the multiverse. Apparently when I asked around for advice I pissed off a lot of "purists" who forgot that not everyone in a faction is a shining example of perfect philosophy.

Then that friend of mine who was running the game scheduled it at the same time I was playing another game, and suggested that his game was better and I should cancel. I declined. As far as I know his Planescape game isn't even running any more, but I could be wrong.

And so, I still didn't get to play Planescape. It is a little late now, to be honest.

Then April 1 happened, and I made this post.

Around that time I was chatting with some friends in #suptg and discussing the possibility of starting another game. These conversations usually run the same way - things are suggested, we agree they would be cool but don't get around to doing them, I say I don't have time, etc.

But this time...

<Ettin> I could run something silly, cirno
<Ettin> not sure what
<PrivatePlatypoda> Run a steampunk game in 4e, Ettin. In the Forgotten Realms setting.
<Ettin> PP> D:::
<Emo_Duck> Dragonborn boobs. :3
<Ettin> I dunno, "silly game" would probably end up being something retarded
<Ettin> Like it's planescape and the PCs are planar detectives and their secretaries are all catgirl angels in bikinis and the BBEG is scooby doo
<PurpleXVI> I'm in.

A matter of moments later:

<Ettin> OH OH
<Ettin> PURPLE
<Ettin> Run it in BESM
<Ettin> Instead of detectives, magical girls
<LatroPrime> :|
<Ettin> One for each plane
<LatroPrime> ETTIN
<Ruler> :3
<PurpleXVI> The Lady of Pain should turn out to be a little girl in a costume.
<Ruler> I'd play it now.
<Ettin> Actually
<Ettin> Raise your hand if you would totally play Magical Girl Planescape
<Ruler> Lady of Pain finds a new source of power: Denying little girls ice cream.
<PurpleXVI> ...Ettin, it shames me, but I would give it a shot just to see how awful it would get.

And give it a shot we did.

Planescape: Magical Girls

Yes, shut up, we're doing this.

The system is BESM, because D&D is a big enough pain in the ass to run for things it's supposed to do. The setting is simple: It's Planescape, and for some reason the Lady of Pain has decided that each faction will appoint someone to be given magical girl powers and join a team of magical girls as a sort of Sigil Defense Force. Then D&D adventures happen, except instead of meeting in an inn, they meet in Fell's Ice Cream Parlour.

This is a horrible idea.

It's been all right so far. Kind of like Planescape meets Touhou. The setting lets me use all the bits of PS I like and screw with the bits I don't. And the bits I do, to be honest. Recently I decided to put a bit of modron in there and we're running the Great Modron March module, with a few adjustments.

I occasionally update /tg/ on the game's progress, and if you poke around the SupTG archives you'll find most of the threads. Reactions were interesting - naturally, some people flipped out, and I got some amusement from that in much the same way that I derive enjoyment from reading terrible webcomics. Around the time the first few threads went up someone even came into #suptg to ask why we were being such pedophiles. Good times, good times.

For the record, I specifically banned little girls for this very reason. We might get off on schadenfreude but not on that, and that little rule shut down all but the unfounded speculation (which, to be fair, is all of it).

Anyway, enough of that. Here are the characters that have appeared so far, sorted by faction (or plane)! PCs are in italics.

Athar: Athar-tan is Adie Dawkins, a half-celestial human girl with glasses and an adorable little angel-wings-and-halo set. Adie does not like to be reminded that her father is a god. He thinks it is a phase she will get over when she stops being a teenager.
Believers of the Source: Godsman-tan is Minorin Kawashiro, a pleasant and hard-working girl who likes inventing things. She fights with a backpack full of mechanical parts which she can put together into teleporters, force fields, etc.
Bleak Cabal: Bleaker-tan is Oresta Typhon, another human with an oddly upbeat and extremely naive outlook; she likes to help people, even evil people and demons.
Doomguard: Doomguard-tan is Neitz O'Misree, a heavily-armoured girl who fights with a shapeshifting weapon and is pretty laid-back most of the time. Very clumsy.
Dustmen: Dust-tan is a tengu (well, a humanoid with crow wings) girl who was designed by taking the idea of True Death as an analogue to Nirvana and stretching that as far as possible until we got a Dustman Shaolin monk. Knows kung fu or whatever.
Fraternity of Order: Guvner-tan is Sami Pythagora, a human and a huge nerd. Apparently she was still voted the cutest -tan so far, though. Best friends and occasional roommates with Bleaker-tan.
Free League: Indep-tan is Henrietta Winkler, a laid-back human who works at a maid cafe near the Great Bazaar. The Indeps aren't a real faction, so Indep-tan is pretty much anyone who qualifies and feels like it, but she's been around a while now.
Harmonium: Harmonium-tan is Aribeth de Tylmarande, an elf from Faerûn who wants to be a paladin and tries to combine the Harmonium's outlook with a Lawful Good paladin of Tyr's outlook. Once let Revolu-tan become her roommate. It's like the Odd Couple only with magical girls.
Mercykillers: Mercy-tan is actually two people, a pair of half-elf twins. Alexandra Enoreth (also known as Sons of Mercy-tan, or Son-tan) is a kind-hearted Lawful Good crusader who tries to punish people in the name of the moon for great justice, and her sister Cassandra is a half-barmy Lawful probably-Evil crusader who likes hurting people. Luckily the PCs have only encountered Alexandra so far - Cassandra is generally attacking people on Mechanus or something - but since the only visual difference is the hair, have they really?
Revolutionary League: Revolu-tan is Kunin Ropokin (aka Revolutionary Girl Kunin), an half-elf who is somehow in the group despite being a freaking Anarchist. Actually she is more of a Communist.
Sign of One: Signer-tan is Rene Cartesia, a tiefling from the gate-town of Hopeless who has found happiness with the power of IMAGINATION! (yes it has to be coloured every time.) She is from a long line of tieflings and has the blood of so many fiends within her she can will herself into a different form depending on what is needed or looks cool (horns, goat legs, marilith form, fire breath, etc.).
Society of Sensation: Sensate-tan is Lagina, a tiefling raised by modrons who shoots spice-flavoured laser beams and has an obsession with cakes.
Transcendent Order: Cipher-tan is Sakura, an Oriental human from Rokugan who is also a ninja and dresses like Taki and wields a katana. (I pretty much designed her to annoy someone specific!) Her family was slain by demons and she is incredibly zealous about hunting fiends.
Xaositects: Xaosi-tan is Katy, some kind of chaos planetouched. All the PCs are scared of her. Exploits so far have included being "random", shouting "DOOOOM!", exploding in a shower of penguins, pretending she is a door, insisting she is a modron and convincing real modrons of such, and convincing modrons to "do the modron!" while singing a Modron March version of Thriller.

There are other -tans based on the Planes, but most of them haven't come up and I've typed enough.

Sure, it sounds ridiculous, and it is, but it's fun. That's what matters.


Anonymous said...

Ok so why's the image so small then?

Ettin said...

Oh Goddamnit, did I upload it wrong?


Anonymous said...



Ettin said...


Hi! Enjoy your giant fucking Demogorgon.

Turns out blogspot can't support animated gifs. I just hosted it elsewhere. It came out full-sized so I figured what the hell.

Anonymous said...

No way, Oresta is the besta.

Also Sami is adorable.

Minorin said...

disregard that i wasn't here also kunin is so much better than me, sob.

HappyBob said...

You'll be hearing from our lawyers.

Ettin said...

okay what the hell

I did not expect to be so swamped lately! Update this week.